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Connecting: The Communication Skill That Quells Chaos

Posted on March 21, 2014 by Luanne Paynick

I just got off of the phone from having a heartwarming conversation, with a client I have known for years. At this point, I’d say we are friends— which is comforting in this era of uncertainty, change, and technology. I also just finished reading an article in the Elephant Journal Entitled “10 Ways to Feel ‘Sane’, Even When We Feel Crazy”. After reading the article I also felt comforted.

There is a thread or a theme that binds these two events and makes them stand out for me. It is connection— to myself (a connection to my feelings, my body, and my thoughts) and to others (an emotional connection). With either connection, there is a grounding effect, especially in the midst of chaos – when I need it the most. It doesn’t matter where the “craziness” is coming from. It can be from the chaotic world around me, the stories I am telling myself, the overwhelm of technology, or the never-ending litany of stuff I am in the midst of (tasks, tasks, and more tasks). Connecting never fails to bring me back to center. And when I am centered the world around me (and inside me) has a less chaotic, out of control feel to it.

I’ve also learned that connection doesn’t have to be a random occurrence— the result of a phone call or reading an article. I can reach out for the few tried and true practices that provide that connection and centeredness I am striving for. And, you can too.

Notice your body

What does it feel like? How are you sitting or standing? Where are you holding your tension? Where are you the most relaxed? It never fails, when you are “in your body,” you are “out of your head”— the never-ending stream of negative thoughts (at worst) or just that voice that doesn’t seem to stop talking, and reminding you of what needs to be done next.

Just breathe

Notice your breath. Sit for just one minute (two is even better), and notice your breath. Breathe out. Breathe in. Just follow your breath for one minute— for a mini-vacation.

Focus on the person you are talking with

What do they need? How can you help them? What difference can you offer? Look them in the eye. Connect on a human level. It will feel wonderful for them and for you— human being to human being.

Speak kindly to yourself – like you would a dear friend

Focus on what is positive. Say, “Thank you” to yourself for the value you bring and the difference you make to the world. Say, “I forgive you” to yourself for the mistakes you have made and the ones you are sure to make in the future. With this practice, it is amazing how not only your positive energy will increase, but others will “catch” it with each interaction.

When you are connected, to yourself and to others, you can find a bit of calm in the storm – a break from the chaos of your world.

Image courtesy of Prakairoj / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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