3 Word Types That Assassinate Good Communication
Posted on January 11, 2012 by Baxter Dickson
Hollywood loves assassins. Each year the silver screen is filled with deadly human predators stalking their prey, striking without warning, and disappearing into the night: veritable boogeymen. Though they don’t inspire the sensationalism and fear of their movie counterparts, three word types can be as just as deadly—to communication, that is.
#1 But
Regardless of the speaker’s intentions, “but” is a word that destroys enthusiasm. Psychologists and businessmen foundthat when “but” is used in a sentence, everything coming before it goes unheard—or worse yet, disbelieved. Avoid this soul-killing conjunction at all costs. One way to get around using the deadly “but” is to substitute “at the same time.” This puts your comments on a parallel basis and softens the criticism. For example, “You’re a great worker. At the same time, your customer service skills could use some polishing.”
#2 Fillers
Fillers are the words we subconsciously throw into our conversation while we’re trying to figure out what to say. “Like” and “um” are old favorites, although sometimes it may be a short phrase. In the past, I have been known to overuse “it was funny” and “you know” and have worked to get rid of them. Although they’re inserted unintentionally, fillers attack a business speaker’s credibility.
As the movies have taught us, the best way to catch an assassin is to know his/her habits. In the case of fillers, you must first recognize them. In our Speak! Present! Influence!® workshop we listen for repeated words and phrases that show up way too often in our clients speaking. Recording yourself also helps. It’s surprising how, just by becoming aware, you’ll start to eliminate unwanted words.
Once you recognize your unique fillers, try inserting pauses instead. Many speakers fear silence; it feels awkward to them. Pauses, however, help audience and speaker alike. When you pause, you get time to collect their thoughts, gauge audience reactions, slow down racing thoughts and, yes, avoid fillers. Likewise, the audience has time to absorb the speaker’s words and respond on both an intellectual and an emotional level. The silence may seem endless, but it’s far more powerful than fillers.
#3 Jargon
In the 1999 mafia comedy Analyze This, there’s a great scene where Robert DeNiro confers with his advisers. Aware they are under surveillance, everyone involved keeps talking about the “thing” and the “other thing.” While DeNiro and his crew are well aware of what the “thing” and the “other thing” are, the F.B.I. agents, who are listening in, curse profusely as they watch their case go up in flames.
In a similar fashion, jargon buries the listener alive under an incomprehensible pile of information. AtVoicePro®, we habitually use technical terms without thinking because a shared knowledge exists among all of us. Although technical terms connect you with your co-workers, they alienate any listener unfamiliar with your product or industry. Customer interactions deteriorate when jargon enters the picture. Aside from being frustrating and confusing, jargon also comes across as elitist, because it positions the speaker above the customer.
To ensure understanding and positive customer relationships, develop simple ways to describe your products and services. Here’s a good rule to follow: Create explanations an eight-year-old can understand. It may sound silly, but customers and audiences alike rarely complain about an explanation being too simple.
Regardless of intent, words can carry the power of a sniper’s bullet. Don’t be an unintentional assassin. Keep watch for these three word types and deploy the appropriate counter measures to protect your business relationships.
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