When Sarah faced any audience she was paralyzed, and her audience could see her paralysis. She conveyed her nervousness with a breathy voice, shaky hands, and frequent "ahs" and "ums." She confessed that whenever she was in front of the room presenting, or engaged in a high stakes "at the table" conversation, she often lost her train of thought, and didn't really "see" her audience (even though she was looking right at them). In addition, she told us that her mouth would get dry and her palms would become sweaty.
She was overcome by the fear associated with the belief that her audience was judging her and the worry that she wouldn't meet her own standards of perfection, let alone those of others. In our work with Sarah we showed her how to:
- Shift her attention from herself to her audience, helping her focus on others' needs rather than her own fears. Once she stopped trying to be perfect and started thinking about how she could help her audience, she had less reason to be fearful.
- Give herself permission to feel the adrenaline rush and to understand that even "great" speakers get that sense of heightened expectations. This changed her outlook, and she was able to breathe a sigh of relief and proceed with an air of self-forgiveness.
- Breathe in a way that helped her gain command of herself. The increased levels of oxygen enabled her to release the tightness in her muscles.
- Perform specific exercises that allowed the blood to flow more freely, moving oxygen to her brain where it was most needed.
- Eliminate the "ahs" and "ums" for good. She sounded more confident and in command to her audience, but she felt more confident and in command, as well.
Sarah was able to gain command over her fear and the outward signs that communicate, "I am nervous." Her power and confidence grew with the realization that she could in fact "do it."
You can "do it" too!
