VoicePro®

Public Speaking body language, it's half the show.

 

Posted by Carolyn Dickson

 

 “Don’t slump,” Cheryl Burke told partner Chad Ochocinco. “When you slump, you look submissive.”

Thus, ABC’s reality show Dancing With the Stars reinforced one of the main tenets of VoicePro’s Executive Presence and Speak! Present! Influence!® workshops. Your physical presence matters.

Because more than 50 percent of your communication with other people is visual, the way you stand, sit and carry yourself sends vital messages about your character, your work ethic, and your openness to other people. In fact, your credibility depends upon it.

Let me give you an example.

Not long ago we worked with a young woman from a large consulting firm. Sarah (not her real name) had a high degree of business acumen and technical expertise. She was ambitious and worked harder than most. Yet she complained of being ignored in meetings and was generally overlooked when it came to choice assignments and promotions.

When we analyzed Sarah’s demeanor, we found that everything about her behavior screamed weak. When she needed to say something, she leaned forward and clasped her hands together in the prayer position, looking anxiously from side to side. Sarah claimed she wanted to appear interested, but in fact she looked more like an eager puppy hungry for affection. It’s no wonder people avoided eye contact with her and talked around her when the discussion got going.

The fact is we communicate with our faces, hands and bodies more than one might expect. Here’s a simple way to think about body language that will stand you in good stead wherever you go and whatever you’re doing.

Stay Open!

Have you ever noticed how, when people are uncomfortable or feel threatened in some way, they tend to physically close up? The body shrinks, muscles tighten and curl, and the hands move instinctively to protect vulnerable body parts. With eyes averted, they adopt an ostrich mentality: If I can’t see you, I must be invisible, so I won't get hurt.

Work against this impulse. Sit back in your chair, with your shoulders down and relaxed and your chest open. Let your arms rest lightly on the arms of the chair. The moment you feel the least bit of tension, tell yourself, “Sit back, open up.” You’ll not only look more relaxed and in command, you’ll feel more relaxed and in command.

The same principle works when you’re standing. Shoulders down and relaxed, chest open. It helps to give yourself a solid base by keeping your feet somewhat apart and your weight evenly balanced on both feet, so you don’t sway or get twitchy.

In our Executive Presence workshop, we worked with Sarah to improve her posture and change the nonverbal signals she was inadvertently sending. She was able to open up and take more space, which gave her increased presence and a lot more confidence. A few days after the close of her workshop, Sarah phoned our office.

A true revelation!

“You’ll never believe it,” she said. “I was just in a meeting that changed my life. Before your workshop, I felt I had to try really hard to get noticed. But this morning, I pressed the small of my back against the back of the chair, and I kept it there even when I was talking. And guess what …” Her voice was more excited than I had ever heard it. “All of a sudden I realized, the meeting had come to me.”

Sarah went on to explain that eventually everyone else was leaning forward, looking to her for guidance, while she sat back and assumed control. At the end of the meeting, her boss complimented her on “how far she had come in such a short time.” She was the same person she had always been, but the change in the impression she made on those around her was astounding.

So, whether you’re making a presentation, negotiating a contract—or dancing the tango--stay open. You’ll look great—and feel that way, too.

 

Image by randomlea21