Creating Balance

Creating Balance is a book about the personal side of conflict that offers down-to-earth, practical advice on how to build, maintain, and mend the important relationships in your personal and work life. Building on the premise that you are responsible for the success of your relationships, Carolyn Dickson leads you through an easy-to-understand, six-step process for successfully managing the conflicts in your life. Creating Balance offers you a new perspective that will empower you to reach inside yourself, finding the strength and the skills you need to develop compatible relationships with the people most important to you.

An Excerpt from Creating Balance by Carolyn Dickson

Compatibility — the state of existing together in harmony — is what we want for ourselves and our conflict partners. At work, I want to be treated with respect. I want my ideas considered in the collegial spirit in which I offer them and my efforts noticed and acknowledged. I don't need to be agreed with all the time; but I always want to be heard. And because I'm responsible for the success of my relationships, it becomes my obligation to return in kind the behavior I desire from others. At home it's no different. I want to create an environment where every individual is a valued member of the family, cherished for who we are as well as what we can contribute. The compatible organization All compatible organizations, whether they're offices, factories, homes, or schools, have certain commonalities. Let's look at what goes on at AccuTech Industries, a fictional, mid-sized manufacturer of precision machine tools. At AccuTech, there is a well-defined structure that everybody understands and accepts. AccuTech's managers spend a lot of time making sure that both goals and roles are clear. Continual discussions revolve around the framework of the structure and how to make it better, but seldom around the need for the structure itself. The structure is a flexible one that can adapt quickly to both inside and outside influences. AccuTech is a living, evolving organism, and everyone is accordingly responsive. From the CEO's office to the plant floor during the night shift, AccuTech employees treat each other with courtesy and respect. Mistakes and misunderstandings are viewed as "learning by experience" and opportunities to make things better. Even when people are angry and frustrated, they make it clear that it's the events that are the problem, not the people involved. They then attack the problem, not the people. There is also a high respect for individualism. The "you're different from me, therefore we won't be able to get along" syndrome doesn't exist at AccuTech. Talents are celebrated for the value they bring to the table, allowance is made for contrasting work styles, and initiative is appreciated and rewarded, not perceived as threatening. Open, honest discussion without fear is a fundamental component of AccuTech's culture. Differences of opinion are encouraged, and debates are often heated, with people arguing passionately for what they believe in. Everyone is trained to respond quickly and quietly to personal grievances, so they are dealt with by the involved parties themselves, and negative groundswell is never allowed to infect the whole group. The result is that people look forward to coming to work. They are productive, they feel needed and fulfilled, and they have fun. And they are extremely protective of their very special culture, with each and every individual committed to upholding and preserving it. We all want to live and work in compatible organizations, but they don't happen by themselves. Every organization is a group of individuals who are either in a state of conflict or a state of compatibility with other individuals. The organization doesn't decide it's going to be compatible, the people within the organization — each and every one — make that choice.